We decided to have one last visit to China before we leave Asia. Half term was looming and seemed the perfect space. We had to keep it short as the school has a visit from some Inspectors the day after the half term holiday so we didn't need to be seen to be staying away for too long! We long to see some of the beautiful places in Beijing just one more time: Summer Palace, 798 - the Art District and maybe a quick trip to the Forbidden City. We also wanted to spend some time with our very good friends from our time there so got in touch to see if they were available. So far so good.
Took a while to get hold of our travel agent and get the tickets - you can't apply for a visa til you have the tickets. Got the tickets? Book a hotel. You can't get a visa without an address to go to. Booked the hotel? Yes, the Fairmont - somewhere we have been promising ourselves to stay ever since we saw it being built for the Olympic games. Sadly it wasn't finished in time for that and we left the country the following year without seeing it completed. Another tick off the Bucket List for us then on this visit.
Got the forms for the visa application off the Chinese Embassy website. Done this before soooo many times. Sorted it all out, got copies of absolutely everything, added a photo and went off to the Chinese Embassy - this was on Monday 3rd October. Hmm, closed for National Day which is actually 5th October. So.... closed on the Monday before... hmmm. Checked with our friends and the whole of the Chinese population has a whole week off. So not open til 10th October then? Wrong. 10th October is a Japanese National Holiday. Not open til 11th October then? Right. And we fly when? Oh the 16th. Takes four working days for a visa unless you pay extra. I'm afraid my heart wouldn't take the strain so I decided to go for the mega express service and pay the Chinese whatever they want just to get it done and to be able to sleep at night.
So yesterday saw me queueing outside the Chinese Embassy in Roppongi by 8.50 am. First day after such a long holiday meant the queue grew quickly and snaked around the building. Not to worry I knew where I was going and what I had to do. In and out in 40 minutes I reckoned then off to Starbucks and a visit for coffee with my lovely husband in his office. Job done.
So I get through all the security, smile dazzlingly (I thought) at the security guards and run up three flights of stairs to beat the lift which is full anyway. I fling myself through the door, head to the check desk and the lovely unsmiling lady behind the window takes one look at my forms, beautifully completed in clear, rounded script with a blacker than black pen and states very calmly that I " have the old forms. We have new ones now". The clue had been the man in front of me who, when told the same thing, became incandescent with rage and I stood back in amazement - I have never seen such a display of anger in anyone over three and half years old! I did not wish to be anythng but British - stoic in the face of hardship and challenge, quiet and fair minded. So I muttered "I got them off your website" and smiled. She, of course, had the upper hand and merely handed me a new bunch of forms that quite honestly looked like a GCSE examination booklet. I retreated to what was, but not for long, a space and spread the papers out prepared to tackle this with no hysteria. To cut a long story short it required far more information than I could carry in my brain (How many countries had we visited in the last twleve months and exactly what were the dates of those visits?). I was quickly being surrounded by furious foreigners in the same predicament and for some reason I became a fount of all knowledge - Do I need to add this? Where can I get that information? Do I have to fill this bit in? I wanted to scream at them, "How do I know??" but I didn't. All this while I was trying desperately to complete my own form and David's too. He was busy, I knew that. The impending inspection involves so much preparation and he did not need disturbing; I was sure I could do it without him and then..... the bl.... signature block. Of coure, how could I forge his signature successfully when the passport had a beautiful copy of it in there? I'd never get away with it. Blast, damn and all that other stuff. I called him and threw myself on his mercy.
He was amazingly sanguine. But then, he was alone in a nice tranquil office with a window and sunlight and a cup of tea while I was on the third floor of the Chinese Embassy surrounded by Chinese and foreigners all shouting and pushing and invading my space. The solution was simple he couldn't come to the Embassy (why on earth would he want to? I asked myself later) but I could go to school, sit quietly in the cool, calm atmosphere of the staff room, complete the forms and simply present them for his signature. Oh God how I wish I had a PA .......
Sorted, all within the hour. I could still, just, if I got a wriggle on, make the 12 o clock deadline to get the visa and collect it in the morning. I was elated as I returned to the Embassy. Surely to goodness the early morning rush would have died down; this was possibly the best time to go, I convinced myself. No one waiting outside....looking hopeful then. The security guard recognised me and spoke warmly when he greeted me - for the second time that day as he explained to his colleagues. I skipped up to the third floor and ....wham! I have never, ever seen so many people in a room. It was jam packed and the queues to be rechecked were humongous. I nearly turned and left but that good ole British determination came to the fore. Finally I got a number: 554. Window 1, I was told. Window 1 was currently serving 534. TWENTY people in front of me; I could have wept. I didn't weep though. I reached into my bag and retrieved the ipod. Set it up, put the earphones in my ears and propped myself against a wall. Then I relaxed to the every day tale of country folk - The Archers Omnibus! Surreal.
Almost two hours later I was seen and dealt with in about 5 minutes but during that waiting time I had made myself a solemn promise. In fact it became a mantra - I am NEVER going to a Chinese Embassy anywhere in the world EVER again and the corollary to that was "And I am NEVER, EVER, EVER going to go to China, EVER again!" So I had better make the most of my time there next week. This will be our last and final visit to the country we called home for two years.
Postscript - collected the passports complete with visas this morning - in and out in fifteen minutes. Maybe we will go back again after all......
